Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
