Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize