I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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