honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
