judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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