Dual....:-)
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
