the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize