how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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