he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize