We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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