Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize