her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
