it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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