No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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