i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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