like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
