I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My balls are so social today.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
