i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
