It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
