Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize