His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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