He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
