I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize