she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
