We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I want to be your penis for a week.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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