It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
