my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
