I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
