I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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