Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
