I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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