he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
