i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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