You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
