I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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