I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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