My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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