True but thats because hes a fetus.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
