All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We left the knife in your bed.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
