Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
