Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So many bounce houses so little time
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
