You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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