if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
