I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Someone shit on the floor
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
