Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
