You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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