There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
