So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
