i was born a porn star she said
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
