Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
