Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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