I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
