Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
