yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
