She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
