So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
