I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
