every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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