Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize