Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
