U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
