too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
