I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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