Your tits are I can't wait for
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize