i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
